


If I Ever Lost My Hand...

by DearOne



Category: Bandom, Music RPF, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-26
Updated: 2012-04-26
Packaged: 2017-11-04 08:27:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearOne/pseuds/DearOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Panic are on a roadtrip. And Jon and Ryan have a secret--they're boyfriends! Can they keep their secret from their closest friends, especially when EVERYTHING is being filmed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be going on a roadtrip with my friends to Vegas... and the American Valley video popped in my head.. And well, the title/lyrics to Jon and Ryan's improv song inspired this fic.  
> Unrelated notes: Am I the only one who caught all the sexy moments between the two? Also, why is that song not on their album??

The day was like any other day. Hot. 

Ryan was familiar with this kind of weather having grown up in Las Vegas. What he wasn't familiar with was Jon and his flirting. Ryan watched him, peripherally. 

Jon was leaning forward, causally, with his hands clasped over his lap. A grin tugged at the corner of his lip. His gaze didn't linger on anything for more than a second or two and that's what put Ryan on edge. He didn't know when their gazes would meet. And when they did, Jon's eyes would bore into him like he was some kind of prey about to get caught. Ryan would flush and turn away. And Jon would say something about a car they passed or point out another blown tire at the side of the road. 

Ryan wondered whether Jon knew what he was doing to him. He bit his lip as he turned to glance at Jon again, hoping that he would be staring out the window or something other than him. But, of course, the world didn't work on his hopes. 

Jon was looking at him with his lopsided grin and eyes that wouldn't stop twinkling. Jon knew _exactly_ what he was doing to him. 

Ryan realized that the space between them had disappeared. He cleared his throat and chanced a look at Brendon and Spencer. Brendon's eyes were on the road, as they should be since he was driving. Spencer was looking out the window. Ryan let out a a breath, relieved. He looked at Jon. 

Jon's smile grew. He nodded towards the camera. "Shit." Ryan muttered under his breath. He almost forgot about the camera. Thankfully, right then, it was focused on the scenery of dirt and rocks they were passing at 85 miles per hour. 

Ryan told himself that there was nothing to worry about. Nothing was going on. Spencer didn't know. And Brendon didn't have a clue. He laughed at his own paranoia. He was about to sit back into his seat when he felt Jon's hand brush his thigh. "Fuck, you're gonna get us caught," Ryan said, under his breath.

Jon leaned in closer. "Grab your guitar."

It took a second for Ryan to comprehend but once he did, he grabbed his guitar quickly. Too quickly. Spencer had stirred and turned to look at them and only turned back to continue his daydreaming after Ryan met his eyes and nodded at him.

"Here, I'll play the chords and you play there," Jon announced.

Ryan strummed, while racking his non-functioning mind for words to a song that didn't exist yet. He looked at Jon, who was changing chords and had an easy smile playing at his lips. How could he be so casual about everything? Ryan wondered. Another strum of his guitar and words finally made it through his lips. "If I ever lost my hand, we could still write songs this way..."

Yeah, Ryan thought, he could do this. They finished their song and the camera went on to focus on a game of thumb-war between Brendon and Spencer. He glanced back at Jon, who was watching him intently. He felt Jon's hand move again onto his thigh. Ryan didn't dare move or say anything. His eyes locked onto the cameraman, hoping he wouldn't catch onto what Jon was doing behind the guitar propped on his lap.

Jon's hand made slow, maddening circles across his leg. 

Ryan gasped as it made its way to the inside of his thigh. 

He wanted to slap Jon's hand away, but instead, he opened his legs wider. He thought that Jon wouldn't do anything more than this anyway. Jon wasn't evil. He wouldn't do anything to out them while Brendon and Spencer were seated just a few feet away, and a fucking video camera was filming their every move. But Ryan was wrong again. 

Jon was just that kind of evil. His hand traveled to his crotch. 

Ryan wanted to put what was about to happen to an end but his body betrayed him. He moved against the hand, to feel more of the delicious pressure, more friction, more anything. 

He glanced at Jon, who was still staring at him. The touch deepened. His hand no longer just touching, but rubbing, groping and pressing into his now evident arousal. Ryan wanted to scream but only gripped his guitar and closed his eyes. It felt so good and so hot and so wrong and so right as Jon's hand moved expertly, knowingly and possessively over the length of him through his pants.

"You're so sexy right now," Jon muttered into his ear. 

Ryan's eyes widened in fear that they would get noticed. But Brendon and Spencer were still talking about something--a dead animal they passed? A rest stop? And the cameraman was still focusing on the two in front.

"You're gonna get us caught," Ryan repeated.

Jon shrugged. "You want me to stop?" he asked, while simultaneously applying more pressure to Ryan's groin.

Ryan closed his eyes and opened them to see Jon staring intently at him. Ryan shook his head. And Jon grinned. Fucker, Ryan thought.

Jon glanced down to Ryan's crotch. "Good, because you're close." 

Ryan was about to ask how he knew but that was a moot point. Ryan hated to admit that someone other than Spencer, the man he had grown up with, had him figured out in just a few short years.

In any case, Jon was looking at him from beneath his lashes with a knowing smile. "Fuck, look, you're _wet_ ," he said heavily.

Ryan didn't dare look, he didn't need to see. He could feel that his cock was trapped against his thigh and could feel the inseam of his pants slide wetly against him as Jon squeezed and rubbed him through the thin fabric. "Fuck," was Ryan's last thought before he came. And as soon as he came down from it all, his eyes opened widely, worried if anyone caught on.

"Rest stop in less than a mile," Spencer announced.

"Good thing, we were on empty five minutes ago," Brendon added.

The cameraman was busy focusing on the signs coming into view.

Nobody noticed.

And Ryan, with his mind still hazy after just coming, would have forgotten what had just happened moments ago if he didn't feel Jon still pressed against him. He looked down for the first time and watched in fascination as Jon's hand still worked his softening cock. His mind whirled with jumbled thoughts of what was happening, but his body was the one screaming. Ryan felt the tightness of over-stimulation. And wanted more.

"Meet me in the bathroom," Jon whispered.

He nodded just as Brendon exclaimed. "Thank fuck, we made it!"

Just as soon as the vehicle came to a stop, Jon was out of the van.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Jon didn't know whether Ryan followed or not. He just needed to get out to calm himself. For one thing, he had a hard on. That would be difficult to explain. And second, he very nearly outed himself and Ryan in front of his band mates--his best friends and maybe even to their entire fan base. Jon cursed the idea of filming this whatever-you-call-it.

Jon paced the bathroom. And before he knew it, there was a knock on the door. "One sec!"

"It's uh, it's me."

Jon opened the door and as soon as he saw Ryan standing there, in front of him, all of his worries seemed to disappear. "Fuck, Ryan, you're like magic."

Ryan looked at him quizzically for a second, then pushed him in and closed the door behind them. "What the fuck was that back there? We could have been--"

"Caught, I know," Jon whispered. "But we didn't. The others?"

"Getting food," Ryan said as he started taking off his pants.

"Eager much?" Jon laughed. "We have like five minutes. Eight tops," Jon added with a grin as he pressed Ryan back against the door.

"I'm not undressing for you. I got cum all over my pants, I'm changing. Besides, if you haven't noticed, we are in a bathroom. A smelly, dirty bathroom--you're crazy!"

"If you mean crazy about you then I completely agree," Jon said just before he kissed Ryan. He smiled against Ryan's lips when he didn't protest. A second later Jon was granted free access to his mouth. He didn't waste an opportunity to lick and taste the kiss for all it's worth. 

Apparently, it was worth risking everything; their careers, their futures and maybe even their lives, depending on how their band mates take the news.

"Fuck you, fuck," Ryan cursed when they took a moment to breathe. "You've ruined me."

If it weren't for the dazed look in Ryan's eyes and the moan that escaped his lips, Jon would have taken his words seriously. "No, no, I think I've made an improvement."

Ryan punched him on his shoulder and Jon chuckled at the half-hearted attempt. "You're hard again," Jon stated the obvious as he ground his own erection against Ryan's.

Ryan had already undid his belt earlier, so Jon only had to work the material down from his slim hips, which was a difficult feat as Ryan was determined in taking off Jon's shirt at the same time. 

Once he got it off, Ryan's fingers wandered over his skin, causing him to shiver in the heat.

Jon pressed a kiss to the spot just below Ryan's ear. "Turn around."

They probably had only about six minutes left. Jon searched his pockets and thanked the powers that be that he had a condom. Jon grabbed Ryan's hip and with his other hand he found his way to Ryan's cock. He traveled the whole length of it before he slid the rest of Ryan's pants down. "Just do it, okay?" Ryan said.

Jon nodded, not thinking that Ryan wouldn't see the gesture. He was thinking how he would have loved to spend time prepping Ryan, he would have loved to take this slow, like their first time back at the hotel after their last show. Jon took a moment to roll the condom over himself, and slicking his cock with spit before pushing in. At Ryan's gasp, his whole body stilled. A second, two seconds passed. He gripped Ryan's hip again, his other hand made its way to rest over Ryan's stomach. Such smooth skin, Jon thought as he kissed Ryan's shoulder.

He felt Ryan moving back and he took that as a sign that he was adjusting. He slowly pushed the rest of the way in until there was no space separating them. 

"Okay, okay," Ryan breathed out.

Jon didn't waste any time. He moved inside of Ryan, loving the feel of him all around him, moving against him and with him. "You feel so fucking good, Ryan. So fucking good."

Ryan didn't say anything back but a moan escaped his lips telling him that he must have done something right.

He drew back and moved in again, trying to match his angle.

"Right there, fuck, right there," Ryan groaned.

Jon was about to lose it at the little sounds Ryan was making every time he pressed their bodies together. He moved faster with every thrust.

"Fuck, fuck, I'm close," Ryan said.

Jon imagined Ryan biting his lip as he bit the words out. He moved his hands to cover Ryan's that were braced on the door. He interlaced their fingers as he pushed in again. He knew he only had to say the words and Ryan would come. Just like that. Knowing that he had that power over Ryan, spurred Jon on. He pulled out, almost completely, and moved into Ryan's tight heat in one fluid movement. "Come for me, Ryan. Come for me again." Jon could feel Ryan's body tightening around him. Almost there, Jon said to himself. His movements getting more erratic and with a final thrust he was coming. He could feel Ryan's body shuddering against him and clamping around him. "Fuck," Jon said as they moved languidly together as they rode the shocks of their orgasm.

"Fuck." Ryan groaned.

Jon pressed his lips to the back of Ryan's neck, while taking hold of Ryan's softening cock. He took a moment to hold the weight of if before stroking it from base to tip. "Fucking shit, you just came without being touched."

Jon regretted pointing that out when he felt Ryan stiffen against him. hE held his breath as he belatedly thought that Ryan could possibly be embarrassed. But not a second later, he felt Ryan shift against him and turn so that they were facing each other. "Yes, I did. Jealous?" Ryan raised his eyebrow, daring Jon to challenge him.

"Totally jealous." Jon grinned. He was about to move in for a kiss when he heard footsteps just out the door. "Oh, shit."

"Jon, are you in there?"

"It's Brendon," Jon mouthed to Ryan as he rushed to zip up his pants.

"Answer him, then," Ryan said with a smile as he pulled up his own pants and grabbed Jon's shirt off the floor. "And I don't think you'll want to wear this again." 

"Right, I'll be out in a sec. I'll meet you in the car!" Jon called out as he grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, not caring that it had been on the floor, he could always change later.

"I'll wait here. I have to use the bathroom," Brendon replied.

"It's umm... out of order, though." 

"Smart one," Ryan whispered, sarcastically.

"I just have to take a piss," Brendon called back. "What's taking so long, anyway?"

And before Jon could reply, Ryan opened the door. "Hey, Bren, I think Jon needs your help, he's got this thing growing on his--"

"Ewww, nevermind. I'll just uh find a bush or something. Jon, uh, sorry dude, maybe Spencer could help with that." 

Jon would have laughed at Brendon's quick departure had the circumstances been different. "You're evil."

"No, that's called payback. The bonus is that I came all over your shirt earlier. And if you want to know what evil looks like, tell someone that I came untouched and I'll see to it that you lose a hand and never play an instrument again." Ryan said with a grin, but Jon knew Ryan was completely serious.

Jon raised his hands. "But you'll play the other hand for me, won't you?"

The End


End file.
